There Wasn’t Even Time for God, Babe

I’m an atheist. Proud. Correct. And still absolutely gobsmacked that the masses somehow missed the part where Stephen Hawking calmly, politely, scientifically explained that the universe began with the Big Bang and… this is the kicker… there wasn’t even time for God to exist in that moment.

Not “God chose not to show up.”

Not “God was busy.”

There. Was. No. Time.

If you watched “Curiosity” and actually let your brain stay in the room, you heard it. The beginning of time itself. No before. No waiting room for a bearded sky daddy.

Physics said, No ma’am!

And I swear, people avoid this truth like it’s a haunted house. They don’t even argue it. They just… back away slowly and go right back to believing what they were spoon-fed at age six.

Because here’s the uncomfortable tea ☕️:

People don’t shy away from ideas because they’re offensive…they shy away because those ideas require curiosity, abstraction, and mental endurance. And baby… not everyone has the headspace in there.

So instead of engaging with evidence, data, or… God forbid… cosmology, they default to:

“Well I was raised Christian.”

Oh? You were raised that way? Groundbreaking. You were also raised to think Pluto was a planet and that cigarettes were healthy. Growth is a thing. Or it’s supposed to be.

Let’s talk about my personal migraine trigger: “Thoughts and prayers.”

I know. I KNOW. It’s my problem. It lives in my head. But every time someone says it, a tiny atheist fairy inside me flips a table.

Because what that phrase really means is:

“I would like credit for caring without the inconvenience of doing literally anything.”

It’s lazy. It says, “Look at me being holy in public while changing absolutely nothing.”

God isn’t doing shit.

You are.

You’re the one surviving. You’re the one helping. You’re the one organizing, donating, showing up, rebuilding, healing, choosing. Not God. Not prayers. YOU.

And the Bible? Please. It’s the greatest Aesop’s fable collection of all time… parables, metaphors, contradictions, and sold as fact because questioning it was once punishable by death. Cute story. Terrible source material.

Do I want to “slap the stupid out of people”?

No. (Relax.)

I want to shake them awake.

Here’s the irony they never see: religion doesn’t make people stronger… it convinces them they’re weak without it. And that is the real scam.

You don’t need God to be moral.

You don’t need God to survive.

You don’t need God to matter.

And once you realize that?

That’s terrifying!!!!

And also… deliciously freeing!!!!

So yeah… Keep your thoughts. Keep your prayers.

I’ll keep reality, evidence, curiosity… and the RADICAL idea that humans are powerful on their own.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go calm down before someone tells me God helped them get good financing for a 2014 Chevy Tahoe.

Xoxo, AB 💅💄💋

If you want to dive in…

“Did God Create the Universe?” is the premiere episode of the Discovery Channel series “Curiosity” (Season 1, Episode 1).