150 MPH and No Brakes: The Art of Being Too Much

I’ve always been that perfect little contradiction:

Socially awkward… but also fully convinced the room is mine the second I walk into it.

Like yes, I’m uncomfortable… but also watch this.

It worked.

The laughs, the smiles, the instant gratification of a live audience? That’s my drug of choice. Instant gratification is my brand, baby. If there’s a spotlight, I will find it. If there isn’t one, I will install it.

Being “on” all the time comes with its laundry list of disappointments:

It exhausts people who don’t run at your speed.

I live my life at 150 mph.
Most people start white-knuckling it around 80.

When you build friendships with people who also like attention? Oh, it gets real cute, real fast. Not everyone can handle losing a game I didn’t even realize we were playing.

So yeah… my life has been a series of intense, electric, iconic friendships that burn bright and then… disappear.

Little blurps of connection. Here for a season, gone without a forwarding address.

Am I a lot? Absolutely.

Do I understand why? Also yes.

Am I going to dim it down? Not a fucking chance.

I’ve got my core people. The OG’s. The ones still in my pocket. And that’s more than enough.

Everyone else? I don’t even think about you anymore. I promise.

One day I’m gonna drop this next book… really get into the childhood, the trauma, the behind-the-scenes of how this personality got built… and suddenly it’s gonna be:

“Oh my god… I had no idea…”

“Wow… I feel so bad…”

Relax. This isn’t a guilt tour. This is a victory lap.

First book? New York Times Best Sellers List.
Second book? Best Original Screenplay at the Oscars.

Delusional? Maybe.

Manifesting? Definitely.

Entertaining? Always.

When the writer’s flow hits… oh, it’s not just writing. It’s electricity. It’s magic. It’s me at full voltage, and baby… when I’m on?

I’m ON.

Anyway… buckle up or get out of the car!

Xoxo, AB 