#COMEBACK

This is all getting dangerously close to happening, and honestly? It feels like a fever dream brought to you by caffeine, ego, and a light sprinkle of delusion. I am thrilled to be returning to the stage after a casual 13-year hiatus. Yes, thirteen. Long enough for trends to die, come back, and die again—unlike me, apparently.

I hadn’t touched a makeup brush in 13 years until last week, which sounds dramatic but truly felt like riding a bicycle… if the bicycle had new handlebars, a flat tire, and actively tried to humble you. You don’t forget how to paint a face—but let’s be clear: the face is not the same face it was 13 years ago. Gravity has had opinions. Texture has entered the chat. And makeup? Oh, makeup has evolved. Everyone’s out here “dewy,” “blurring,” and “filtering,” while I’m just trying not to look like a haunted antique.

After painting my face a few times and realizing my foundation was committing actual crimes, I accepted defeat and marched myself straight to the MAC counter like a grown adult who knows better. And just like that—balance restored. Inner peace achieved. Bank account assaulted. Because, as we all know, makeup is exactly like everything else in life: you get what you pay for, and what I paid for was a MAC bag the size of a Tic Tac that somehow contained over $300 worth of product. Witchcraft. Capitalism. Love it.

This little shopping spree was a sweet reminder of something I had almost forgotten: drag is expensive. Like, more expensive than golf and running combined. And that’s saying something. Luckily for me, I am still filthy rich, so we’re fine. Completely fine. Don’t ask follow-up questions. 😂

Some of you may not know this, but 13 years ago I got involved with some deeply sociopathic business partners who drained me emotionally, spiritually, and artistically to the point of full retirement. I was DONE. Burnt. Over it. I sold every stitch of drag I owned and swore I would never perform Anita again. Dramatic? Yes. Necessary? Also yes.

But when something lives inside you—when it is you—you don’t just kill it and move on. That energy doesn’t disappear. It festers. It waits. It sharpens its nails. Comedy and performance are in my DNA, and I should have never let anyone have enough power to convince me to murder a part of myself that needs to exist.

Well… surprise, bitches.

She’s back.

Anita returns August 26th, 2023, and we’re moving onwards and upwards from here. I’m so glad you’re all back for the ride. Buckle up, hold your wigs, and maybe stretch first—because it’s gonna be BUMPy. 😃

XOXO, AB 💅🏼💄💋