I Left My House for This (A Love Letter to Staying In)

I did a very brave thing this week: I put on pants and left my house.

Destination? The Grand 1894 Opera House—a theater so old, historic, and offensively gorgeous that it practically whispers, “Behave yourself, we survived hurricanes.”

Now listen. The building? Stunning. Jaw-dropping. The kind of place where you expect ghosts with equity stakes. The architecture alone deserves a standing ovation, a tiara, and a solid skincare routine.

The crowd, however?

Picture a sea of season-ticket holders who think mayonnaise is spicy. Blue hairs. Sensible shoes. The kind of audience that applauds politely like they’re afraid the show might hear them and get ideas. This is clearly the demographic the season lineup is curated for—and as a local resident and full-time drag queen, I can confidently say: I am not the target audience. Not spiritually. Not emotionally. Not cosmetically.

The show was “Choir Of Man”.

And before anyone clutches pearls—was it bad? No.

Was it great? Also no.

It landed squarely at 5 out of 10 stars. Mediocre. Beige. The theatrical equivalent of room-temperature tap water. Talented performers? Sure. But structure? Momentum? That electric “oh hell yes” feeling? No.

At one point I realized something deeply personal and tragic:

This entire evening was reinforcing why I don’t like to leave my house.

I could’ve been home with my dogs. Wearing pajamas. Watching something chaotic on YouTube. Laughing with my husband. Instead, I was surrounded by polite clapping and an audience that felt personally victimized by rhythm.

And yet—and yet—I’ll be back.

Because hope springs eternal, and also because I already have tickets in March for “One Night Of Queen” at the same glorious theater. I will be crossing my lashes, my fingers, and possibly my wig pins that the performance brings more fire and that the audience brings… literally a pulse.

Until then, The Grand remains breathtaking, historic, and a constant reminder that sometimes the most radical act of self-care is staying home.

Xoxo, AB 💅🏼💄💋