This Is Why I Can’t Do People

I’m officially too old, too smart, and too mentally moisturized to entertain gay bitchy men who think sarcasm equals intelligence.

Sweetie… I clocked you in three seconds. My bullshit detector has a PhD, tenure, and a corner office. Yours is still taking notes with a crayon.

Nothing is more exhausting than a middle-aged man cosplaying as a 21-year-old know-it-all. You don’t know shit about shit… but you do know how to be loud, wrong, and deeply impressed with yourself.

And the gag? You really think you’re slick. Meanwhile I’m receiving you EXACTLY as you are: a curated personality, built entirely out of side-eye and projection.

I don’t hate ALL people. I just don’t have time for fake ones. Especially the ones who confuse being mean with being clever.

So if you feel “called out,” congratulations… you finally read the room.

Exit stage left.
Block button engaged.
Anita is done.

Byeeeeee.

XOXO, AB 💅💄💋