UTMB: Where Appointments Go to Die

UTMB isn’t just “a hospital” for people out here. It’s T H E hospital. It’s my primary care. It’s my specialists. It’s where my husband gets sent when the VA decides he doesn’t need to drive all the way to Houston. It’s the place we’re supposed to trust when something actually matters.

And somehow… every single time we go, something is wrong.

Not “once in a while.” Not “oops, human error.” I mean EVERY time. Like it’s part of the intake process.

You book an appointment? Great. You’ll get approximately 8,000 reminders. Texts. Emails. Notifications. Carrier pigeons. They will make absolutely sure you know what time to show up for your appointment… which may or may not exist in any meaningful way when you get there.

When you do show up, one of the following is guaranteed to happen:

1. The doctor isn’t there yet.

2. The appointment was scheduled wrong.

3. My personal favorite… you check in, sit down, wait, and then get told your referral was never approved.

This one really hits different.

If you’ve ever dealt with the VA, you already know it’s not exactly a speed-run situation. So when you finally get referred out, finally get scheduled, finally show up on time like a responsible adult… only to be told, after you’ve already checked in, that “oh actually, this wasn’t approved”… It’s infuriating.

They act like you’re the problem.

You somehow orchestrated this entire breakdown of communication between two massive systems.

No one calls ahead. No one verifies anything. No one catches the issue until you’re physically sitting in the building, already committed, already wasting your time.

But don’t worry… the reminders worked perfectly! 😂

What really gets me is how consistent the inconsistency is. It’s not one department. It’s not one doctor. It’s not one bad day.

It’s the entire experience.

It feels like there is absolutely no communication between anyone, anywhere, at any level. Scheduling doesn’t talk to referrals. Referrals don’t talk to the clinic. The clinic doesn’t talk to reality.

And the patient? You’re just stuck in the middle, expected to smile, reschedule, and pretend this is normal.

It’s not normal.

And it’s definitely not acceptable when you’re dealing with people’s health.

I even made the mistake once of saying something about it through their MyChart. Not my finest moment… I was mad, and I said some really hateful shit. But instead of anything improving, it honestly felt like things got worse. Like I got quietly filed into some mental folder labeled “difficult,” and now I get the deluxe version of dysfunction.

Which, frankly, I was already getting.

It’s frustrating as fuck. For a lot of us out here, there isn’t really another option. You can drive to Houston, sure… but that’s not always realistic, especially when you’re dealing with referrals, insurance, or ongoing care.

So you stay.

You deal with it.

You brace yourself every single time you walk through those doors, already wondering what’s going to go wrong today.

Because something will.

Healthcare isn’t supposed to feel like a game of Yahtzee.

It’s not supposed to feel like you need backup plans and a full day blocked off just to maybe be seen.

But here we are.

On an island.

With one hospital.

And a system that somehow manages to remind you of your appointment 8,000 times… while still not getting it right.

And don’t even get me started on their billing department! The University Of Texas is KING at serving ineptness on every level.

Xoxo, AB 💅💄💋