The Most Awkward $100 I’ve Ever Made

There are moments in life where you suddenly realize…

“Oh. These people don’t actually like me.”

Mine happened under the fluorescent lighting of PrimeTime bowling alley in Galveston, Texas.

Let me set the stage.

I was invited to bowl with a group of people from my community/neighborhood/social orbit… one of those gatherings where everyone pretends to be friends but it secretly feels like an audition for a reality show with people you don’t really know.

One particular gay man there… who vacations in Mexico more than diplomats… had rebuilt himself like a custom Honda Civic.

Hair plugs.

Ab implants.

Chest implants.

Botox.

Fillers.

A Groupon for a new personality somewhere in there too.

Let’s be clear… I support doing whatever makes you happy. Tighten it. Lift it. Inflate it. Install cup holders if you want. Live your truth.

Confidence purchased in installments doesn’t make you kind.

A couple weeks before the bowling date Mr. Build-A-Body announces that the winner of the first bowling game gets $100.

Cute.

Fun.

Competitive.

Love that energy.

There were nine of us across two lanes.

Guess what?

I won!!!!

Fairly.

Clearly.

Undeniably.

Once I win the opening game I notice the energy shifted like someone farted during grace at Thanksgiving dinner.

The SECOND it became apparent that I had won, he goes…

“Wait… let’s do the NEXT game instead. We’re still waiting on two more people.”

The fuck?!?!?

What am I supposed to do in that moment?

Demand the money immediately and look insane and desperate?

“Hello yes, I’d like to formally collect my bowling earnings from the Botox Treasury Department.”

So I let it go.

Game two starts.

I realize I’m not participating in bowling anymore. I’m participating in a live-action social experiment.

By the end of the game, it comes down to me and his alleged BEST friend. Scores are tight. Everyone is watching.

When I tell you this man was openly rooting against me…

OPENLY.

Not subtle.

Not polite.

Not “good luck everybody.”

No.

This man was practically coaching her from the sidelines like we were at the Bowling National Championships and the gold medal was on the line.

Then I start noticing…

Everybody else is too.

The entire vibe became… “Please don’t let HIM win.”

Meanwhile, my sweet husband is looking at me like: “What the actual fuck is happening right now?”

You know it’s bad when your spouse starts silently communicating with their eyeballs.

We’re in the 10th frame.

Last ball.

Whole alley watching.

I throw.

And I win!

Again!!!

By a couple of points.

Twice.

I had to win TWICE to get the same $100 this man originally offered for ONE game.

The reaction?

Silence.

I’m celebrating alone like I just won a bowling tournament I had been preparing for my entire life.

Nobody looked happy.

Nobody cheered.

Nobody said, “Good game.”

The worst part wasn’t even the money… It was the feeling. That weird sinking realization that your feelings do not matter to a group of people who have already decided who you are.

When people see someone who is loud, confident, outspoken, successful, or strong-willed, they assume that person is emotionally bulletproof.

Like we don’t notice cruelty.

Like confidence cancels out humanity.

But it doesn’t.

Confident people still go home and replay moments in their head.

Strong people still cry.

Funny people still feel excluded.

Loud people still hear the silence when nobody claps for them.

Over a year later, I still think about that bowling alley.

Not because of the game.

Not because of the money.

Because of how intentionally nasty the whole thing felt.

A few days later I drove past Mr. Botox & The Chamber of Lies on my golf cart. I saw him outside. I waved hello while passing by.

Normal human behavior.

I later hear that he told someone HE waved at ME and that I ignored HIM.

That’s when I realized…

Ohhhh.

This person doesn’t just lie socially.

This person lies recreationally.

They all do.

If lying burned calories, he could’ve skipped the ab implants entirely.

If you’ve ever been subtly bullied by adults in social settings…

If you’ve ever walked away from a gathering feeling crazy…

If you’ve ever felt ganged up on, mocked, iced out, or quietly humiliated…

Your feelings are valid.

You are not weak for being hurt by it.

Contrary to what people think, adulthood does not magically eliminate bullying. It just makes it quieter, pettier, and dressed in nice clothes with better credit.

Sometimes the meanest people you’ll ever meet are fully grown adults holding bowling shoes and pretending to be civilized.

Xoxo, AB 💅💄💋